Excerpt From My Surreal Life

My IM response to "He Who Does Not Deserve To Be Named" when asked why I would not go out with him again after he had blown me off and then showed up this weekend out of the blue after another 3 weeks. :

ok..bottom line:
I have no idea really what you want with me.
You started out everything acting as if you wanted a real relationship with me that would lead to something and I was following your lead that was where we were when you abruptly stopped talking to me almost 3 weeks ago.
Had you talked to me that following week and let me know what was going on...I may have been ok with everything
Now, I'm gunshy as to what to expect and scared I'm going to be sucked in and then pushed away.
I know what I want and I'm not sure if you can give it me.
I want stability.
I want someone who wants me and is willing to stick it out and see where this goes.
Someone who wants to talk to me, spend time with me and share their life with me
Who appreciates me for all that I am and still likes me and wants to be with me anyway.
Eventually, I would love to get married again and hopefully have kids, but I am willing to wait for the right person to come along. That is what I am working towards. And if it's not right, then that's fine. Lesson learned.
I'm talking to you now, because I was so smitten with you and loved talking to you. You made me feel important when we were together or when we chatted/talked
But it was the other times that drove me nuts.
The promises of calls that never came or saying that you would do something and not. I am not good at handling that - I need reassurance.
It's something I'm working through, but it's tough for me.
I apologize for leading you on the last couple of days - it's actually taken me awhile to come to terms with this. And it was not easy.

Oh, and I got advice from Life Sherpa from the STL Post Dispatch (last entry on page 3):

Blondengr: I dated a guy a couple of times and thought things were going well. After about 3 weeks, he totally bailed and wouldn't return calls or texts. Now another 3 weeks later and he started IM'ing me and wants to go out again. What gives? Why do guys think that after they bail, they can come back and act like all is "normal" again and that we won't be wary? (BTW - this guy is 38 and never married...)Blondengr

Life Sherpa: Because guys, quite often, can be idiots. Now that you have asked me the "what gives?" question, it's time to ask him the same thing. If he is not up front about the three-week absence, then he probably doesn't want to tell you he was seeing someone else at the time.Plus, 38 and never married? I hate to rag on a fellow guy, but what is the problem. He either is completely incapable of a commitment, or women have gotten tired of him before the altar came in view.

The weekend was full of very odd events that have been explained over the last couple of days - though are still completely surreal. Apparently there was a lot of drinking involved and people should not have been allowed to drive, let alone text or use a cell phone.

Fortunately I seem to have found someone stable and have been enjoying getting to know him over the last couple of weeks. Hopefully this will bring calm and balance to my life...

Finally, for those keeping score at home...I started a knitting project this week. I started a pair of Fuzzy Feet that will be a Christmas gift if I get them finished in time. I also had the pleasure of taking my friend Big-Z to Knitorious over the weekend and introduce her to their world of yarn and cool patterns. I believe this is a good sign - another one converted over the to the "Wool Side"!!

Don't You Just Love the Fall??

A group from work chartered a bus to Hermann, MO on Sat. The weather was FABULOUS, as was the wine and the company, of course. Many a good time was had by all. And we have pictures to prove it:

Just arriving in Hermann:

During:

Before catching the bus for home:

Beautiful View:

I believe we need to make this an annual event.