We Apologize for The Delay...

I'm trying my best to get out there and "live" my life, but I feel like I keep getting delayed.


Right now I'm literally sitting in the STL airport, waiting for a flight that has been delayed for 2 hours due to mechanical issues. I keep thinking of all the stuff I could have done this morning, rather than sitting here...waiting. But then I think that I have not had any "down" time for a couple of weeks and sitting and not doing, is not so bad!


Work has been crazy lately. I am scheduled to be working with the NC team in their office until at least mid-April. Work is getting slow and the company is taking action, so it's putting everyone on edge. While I'd like to think I'm "safe" for now, with the way things have been going, I can't say that with certainty...I don't think anyone can. All I can do is find as much work as I can, do the best work that I can and pray.

"Real Life" has not really been put on hold, though feels like it. This past weekend was "Shower Mania" weekend with a bridal shower for MA and a baby shower for Mrs. Dunnters. There were great women there and lots of fun!! Saturday was the bridal shower and the group ended up playing drinking games at the end of the night. For those keeping score...the age range was from 20ish to 50ish...!! Quite the group, and yet there was lots of laughing, dancing and WooHoo's all night long. Next weekend is a wedding in Miami with family, then a retreat weekend and another shower weekend. Rumor has it, I will have time in April...though that has not been confirmed!!

My dating life is still on hiatus and I'm ok with that. There are several guys that I talk to on a regular basis, which makes life interesting. We compare dating stories and talk about how crazy guys & girls are...we haven't solved the world's problems yet, but working on it! (no, not sure if I would actually date them seriously...it's all in the timing!) And of course I have been hanging out with wonderful women in NC and at home, so I'm in good hands. Yes, sometimes it's still lonely, but I am surrounded by great friends and family, so I know I am blessed.

Hopefully we will be back to "Our Regularly Scheduled Programming" soon. I could use a couple nights at home and some extra sleep!!

Don't Be An OBSTACLE

My Tahoe trip was this past weekend. You may have remembered it from my birthday weekend in the fall. All expenses paid. (Airfare, transfer from the airport, 3 nights at the resort, 4 SPA TREATMENTS for EACH of us!) I had to cover meals, ski rentals, tips.

Linz went with me and I couldn't have asked for a more fun & exciting companion for this trip. She was gracious, and encouraging, and made me laugh - oh so hard. Those double-over-can't-catch-your-breath-I-think-Sailor-Jerry's-Rum-is-going-to-shoot-out-my-nose laughs. And yeah, what happens in Tahoe, should very well stay in Tahoe... :) Except for the $250 she won in Vegas...that can be used anywhere!

We stayed at the Squaw Creek Resort.

It was near the Squaw Valley ski village. It was the site of the 1960 Winter Olympics. There is a high camp...with a heated pool. Yep, that's a snow plow clearing the deck of snow!

And rumor has it, it's the best skiing in Tahoe. I would have to agree. The views were AMAZING!!

I got back to LIVING this weekend. I felt I had been drifting back to the sidelines, but this weekend dragged me back into the action. Faced some fears, tried something new very whole heartedly, soaked all the beauty and atmosphere in. Had some really good heart-to-hearts with friends - new & old, that put life in perspective and made me realize that I am not alone. And that I am truly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. It was A-M-A-ZING!

I took a lesson, fell once on the first day, then proceeded to ski the rest of the day and all of the next. Oh yeah, I hurt. Couldn't hardly walk! But it was worth it. Oh, so worth it.

I do have to admit though, that I was getting annoyed with the "Snowboarders" a bit during the day. They would fall down, not get up, then become "Obstacles" on the slopes. For new skiiers (like me!!), that was not good. The sudden stops and just "hanging out" were getting to me. So I started telling everyone - "Don't Be An Obstacle". After saying that all day and thinking about it, it made sense not only on the slopes...but in life in general. Think about it!

The drive to South Tahoe was breathtaking and a little unnerving for those of us with height issues. (High points, not short stature...thank you very much!) And the gang enjoyed giving me a little bit of trouble for that - thanks!

This is Emerald Bay at dusk:

Playing at the casinos was fun. I collected my "tacky" magnets and played some slots. I think I won around $40 off my original $20...but kept on playing until it was gone.

I am so thankful for the opportunity to take this trip with the group I was with and have such a fabulous time. I am thankful that I live in a country where I can be in a beautiful place at the top of a mountain in little over 4 hours in a plane. I am thankful for great friends who I love dearly and would not have the same experiences without them. And mostly I am thankful that I have been able to fully experience and live through the "Winter of SWinters" and put my life back into perspective. I am truly blessed.

Next time though, I totally want to win a trip to the Carribean!!

Comfortably Numb?

After several emotionally trying conversations this week, freak-outs from work, the awfully cold weather and just dealings with life in general, I came to the conclusion this afternoon that I just wanted to be NUMB!

Numb from the hurt, cattiness, stress, sad, scary, enemies, lonliness, "it's not you, it's me", fear, smothering, and all the negative stuff that seems to be hitting me this week.

But NUMB! means numb. Everything is numb.

So I would then be numb from the happy, excited, anticipation, love, friendship, cuddles, joy, confident, and all the good stuff that's out there too.

And I don't think I can give that up. Not even when I feel the worst, do I want to give up the good feelings....not even for a minute!

Thus I'm dealing. My mantra is back to "I will be ok. I will always be ok. I just don't know when OK will be." It has worked before...it shall work again!

I'm getting ready to start into the "busy" season - the "Winter of SWinters"! Linz & I take off for Tahoe in 2 weeks, then I spend a week in Tampa for ISPE, then a long weekend in Miami for a wedding, weekends for baby & bridal showers/bachelorette parties in Branson and a retreat weekend for church. And there may be some trips in there to NC for work, but not sure yet. I'm hoping that the weather gets warmer before I get to go there! Then MA gets married in May and my goal for this year is to participate in 3-4 triathlons this summer. It's gonna be busy.

On the dating front, my 8-ish month stint is coming to a close, I think. There are still some possibilities out there, but we'll see how it pans out. I met some great guys, some creepy guys, had some great meals, saw some fun places, had great conversation and learned a lot about myself along the way. There are traits that I am definitely looking for and many that I will not stand for. I am coming close to figuring out what I want...now he just needs to show up!! Truth be told though, I am ready to step back and take a breather for awhile. I would like to get myself throuh the next busy months and get myself back in order before I go there again.

Oh, and there's knitting too. Now that it's general knowledge that I'm going to be an AUNT! (HOW SUPER COOL IS THAT???) There is so much knitting to be done! I have some projects in the works, that will probably be airplane knitting for several trips. (Need to finish by mid- March....EEK!) I am so very excited for the addition to our family and wish the Dunnters all the love and support in the world!

Yes, I know it's been a couple of months since I've updated, but it's been crazy. And I found Facebook. I resisted for a long time, but I've been enjoying it. It's good to hear how friends from HS and college are doing and especially my family members. There are so many, all spread out, so it makes keeping up with them fun. Check it out!

Babies Put Me In the Christmas Mood

I got a picture from a co-worker today:





This is Baby M from MI. His mom is a friend of mine that spent time in Switzerland with us. This little guy has more pictures from Europe before he was born, then most people do in their lifetime!

The sweater is this one. I am so happy that it fit at the right time and it looks fabulous on him!!

There is more baby knitting to be done and has been started. Must be kept on the DL though...dont' want to spill all my secret knitting early! But rest assured that "knitting season" is in full swing!

And how can you not be in the Christmas spirit with all the wee ones around?!?!

That's ZOOTINI...not Zuchini!

A group of us "Partied for the Frogs" this weekend at Zootini at the St. Louis Zoo. The dress code was "Upscale hip with a 70's Flair...."


I believe we accomplished that:





Rick James made an appearance:




S-Diddy stole the show with a fabulous rendition of Sweet Caroline, that has been doomed to only legend, as it has been deemed way too amazing to share with the world. (for now...)



This may have to be an annual event!!

IWONIWONIWONIWONIWONIWONIWONIWON

I won a trip to Squaw Creek Resort on Lake Tahoe from a radio station contest today.

The week did not start out well - was not happy with the election. (but that is for another day...)

My 36th birthday is Sunday.

The 35th year has treated me well. (See any of the posts from this year!)

Last year I bought myself boots. The year before a pair of running shoes and a YMCA membership.

I believe this year's gift is a bit better. And it doesn't cost me a cent!! (ok, just some taxes, but eh)

And I think I have someone special to go with too. But not sure. Still keeping this one under wraps for a bit...but looking good so far.

Now I just need to decide if I want to go skiing....or hiking!!

Excerpt From My Surreal Life

My IM response to "He Who Does Not Deserve To Be Named" when asked why I would not go out with him again after he had blown me off and then showed up this weekend out of the blue after another 3 weeks. :

ok..bottom line:
I have no idea really what you want with me.
You started out everything acting as if you wanted a real relationship with me that would lead to something and I was following your lead that was where we were when you abruptly stopped talking to me almost 3 weeks ago.
Had you talked to me that following week and let me know what was going on...I may have been ok with everything
Now, I'm gunshy as to what to expect and scared I'm going to be sucked in and then pushed away.
I know what I want and I'm not sure if you can give it me.
I want stability.
I want someone who wants me and is willing to stick it out and see where this goes.
Someone who wants to talk to me, spend time with me and share their life with me
Who appreciates me for all that I am and still likes me and wants to be with me anyway.
Eventually, I would love to get married again and hopefully have kids, but I am willing to wait for the right person to come along. That is what I am working towards. And if it's not right, then that's fine. Lesson learned.
I'm talking to you now, because I was so smitten with you and loved talking to you. You made me feel important when we were together or when we chatted/talked
But it was the other times that drove me nuts.
The promises of calls that never came or saying that you would do something and not. I am not good at handling that - I need reassurance.
It's something I'm working through, but it's tough for me.
I apologize for leading you on the last couple of days - it's actually taken me awhile to come to terms with this. And it was not easy.

Oh, and I got advice from Life Sherpa from the STL Post Dispatch (last entry on page 3):

Blondengr: I dated a guy a couple of times and thought things were going well. After about 3 weeks, he totally bailed and wouldn't return calls or texts. Now another 3 weeks later and he started IM'ing me and wants to go out again. What gives? Why do guys think that after they bail, they can come back and act like all is "normal" again and that we won't be wary? (BTW - this guy is 38 and never married...)Blondengr

Life Sherpa: Because guys, quite often, can be idiots. Now that you have asked me the "what gives?" question, it's time to ask him the same thing. If he is not up front about the three-week absence, then he probably doesn't want to tell you he was seeing someone else at the time.Plus, 38 and never married? I hate to rag on a fellow guy, but what is the problem. He either is completely incapable of a commitment, or women have gotten tired of him before the altar came in view.

The weekend was full of very odd events that have been explained over the last couple of days - though are still completely surreal. Apparently there was a lot of drinking involved and people should not have been allowed to drive, let alone text or use a cell phone.

Fortunately I seem to have found someone stable and have been enjoying getting to know him over the last couple of weeks. Hopefully this will bring calm and balance to my life...

Finally, for those keeping score at home...I started a knitting project this week. I started a pair of Fuzzy Feet that will be a Christmas gift if I get them finished in time. I also had the pleasure of taking my friend Big-Z to Knitorious over the weekend and introduce her to their world of yarn and cool patterns. I believe this is a good sign - another one converted over the to the "Wool Side"!!